Wednesday, 15 June 2011

OAP'd myself again!

I believe that in this life there is only one thing that is scarier than death, and that is growing old...really old.

The reason I say this is because when you get too old life seems to almost revert back to the beginning, you become a fully grown adult-baby! Unable to look after yourself, and have limited control over your bodily functions, speech and memory. It just doesn't seem like fun!

If you are unlucky enough to get so old and suffer memory loss, and if you could remember, you'd probably have to question what on earth was the point in living and creating all those memories that would then have been forgotten! Seems almost pointless doesn't it?

Personally I would like to grow old gracefully and pop my clogs when I am still able to function with relative ease. I do not want a carer, Stenna stairlift or walk-in bath! I would, however, settle for a mobility scooter, and I would trick that bad boy out for sure!
"Is it a bird, is it a plane? NO It's grandad rolling in a 200bhp lazychair!"

Elderly people are pretty damn annoying as well (although it's not entirely their fault), they walk so slowly in the high-street that I'm surprised they actually ever get anywhere, they love a queue in the post office, and if behind the wheel of a car are downright dangerous! It drives me mad! There's nothing more infuriating than driving behind little old Betty in her old purple Ford KA driving at 20mph in a 40 zone, slowing down for green lights and sometimes not even seeing the red ones!

I do, however, feel sorry for really old people. Especially if they're life exceeds the grand old age of 100, because then all you get is a party which may kill you due to the excitement and a weak ticker, and a mass produced card from The Queen. Tell me, just what exactly is Betty supposed to do with that, Liz? It's not even useful, she probably doesn't even know who you are anymore, it's like giving a paraplegic a bloody treadmill!

I do have the utmost respect for the elderly, despite the negative attitude this blog suggests, without them, we would not be here living the lives of comfort we enjoy today, and plus, who else is gonna to buy those cardigans that only they seem to wear, and eat all the Werther's Originals?

Live your life to the full, make the most of it and if you reach the latter stages of the golden years do one thing, make sure you've written some of it down! :-)


  1. and a mass produced card FROM The Queen. =] x

  2. Thank Anon!

    That's the perils of using your Iphone to do a blog.

    I've changed the error! :P