Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Cool kids on the block.

Just what is the deal with these 'scenester' or 'hipster' kids that have popped up like a ravenous plague over the last few years?

Hipsters are people who have a large group of associates who all look alike but don't actually like each other that much. They have no real friends and bitch and back stab each other at the turn of a head, but yet despite this they are still super, awesome and cool. Alas they probably wouldn't describe themselves using those words, morelike, they are deep, free thinking trend setters. Better?

Cool Kids!

They walk around, strutting their stuff, or riding their 'fixey bikes' with a undeserved sense of self importance that could rival someone like Jordan's. They think that they are cool, and I can't understand why? Is it because they wear stupid T-Shirts with witty slogans on that they really don't care about like "Free Tibet" or "Meat is murder"? Or because they have 20-20 vision but yet wear lens-less over sized glasses? Maybe it's because they have a camera with them at all times which they most likely can't use, and edit all photo's on Photoshop to make them look 'vintage' and grainy?

Perhaps i'm just not 'hip' or 'stylish' enough to understand the need to 'stand out' from the other cool kids who look exactly the same as me, or listen to shit music which is cool because no-one 'normal' listens to it.

They are normally University hippies students, who recently learned about PETA, Greenpeace, or Amnesty International but don't care enough to actually help! Well, I suppose as long as you look like you do, then that's good enough, eh?

You are not cool if you are the only one who thinks that you are!

Dear Mr/Miss Hipster.

I hate to be the bringer of bad news but, this period of your life won't last too long. Soon it'll be time to spread your wings and leave the comforts of Shoreditch and be a big boy/girl, get some responsibilities and grow up. I'm sure that you are very sad at that horribly shocking news but you'll get over it. Write an acoustic song or poem, take some photos of shoes or vinyls, pry yourself out of your overly skinny jeans and have a lie down on your bed made from unicorn feathers. You will be just fine, I promise.

Sincerely, society.


  1. haha brilliant :) i hate these guys, I could massively expand on this from people I know, about the shoot-offs of 'being scene.' But alas i shall probably just end up with a headache. Good stuff anyway nice to see our ranting has reached some sort of published validation now ;)

  2. haha, I'm glad you agree!

    Yes, the published rants are a good start! lol.

    Cheers for commenting!

  3. The Legendary HRH MonkFish VIII14 June 2011 at 19:43

    Not hailing from Croydon I can't say I'm too familiar with the exact (what's the collective noun for a group of cunts?) scene brigade but if you look at any act of rebellion through fashion it is all very outrageous to start with but before too long it's just another fad and ends up looking the same as all the others